Blogging...a phenomenon I'm yet to feel completely at ease with. Despite a passion for creative expression it's never been something I've liked to attach my name, let alone a face to, preferring anonymity...after all art is purely subjective and I find it obscure that someone who may barely know me, if at all, would take the slightest interest in anything I have to say.
For me, this blog is hopefully going to become somewhat of an online scrap book of sorts...a complete contradiction to my physical scrap book, the most personal and private entity I possess. It's for that reason that the concept of blogging, of releasing these thoughts, writings, photos or whatever into a totally public space becomes alien and some what confusing to me. The brain cannot help taking into account that there is now a potential audience...a reader, a critic, for whom I have edited and censored - an act I loath to do but cannot bring myself to restrain from.
Perhaps, as I aim to make this a more routine and regular practice, the paranoid and egotistical urges will wear and this may slowly start to genuinely resemble who I am in some way, shape or form. However, this in itself brings up an ever bigger question, am I seeking some sort of acceptance from the audience? Is it ok to think, feel and say these things I write in a public sphere? Why should I concern myself with their approval? I suppose that is where my understanding of what it means to blog becomes blurry...do you blog for yourself or for others? Personal satisfaction or social acceptance?
Again, these answers may only become clear as I attempt to construct my ideas and myself in cyber space.